| Simple Duties: | |
| You make the bed | 1 |
| You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows | 0 |
| You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets | -1 |
| You leave the toilet seat up | -5 |
| You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty | 0 |
| When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex | -1 |
| When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom | -2 |
| You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings | 5 |
| But return with beer | -5 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at night | 0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing | 0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it's something | 5 |
| You pummel it with a six iron | 10 |
| It's her father | -10 |
| Social Engagements: | |
| You stay by her side the entire party | 0 |
| You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy | -2 |
| Named Tiffany | -4 |
| Tiffany is a dancer | -6 |
| Tiffany has implants | -8 |
| Your Anniversay: | |
| You take her out to dinner | 0 |
| You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar | 1 |
| Okay, it is a sports bar | -2 |
| And it's all-you-can-eat night | -3 |
| It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team | -10 |
| A Night Out With The Boys: | |
| Go out with a pal | -5 |
| And the pal is happily married | -4 |
| Or frighteningly single | -7 |
| And he drives a Mustang | -10 |
| With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) | -15 |
| A Night Out: | |
| You take her to a movie | 2 |
| You take her to a movie she likes | 4 |
| You take her to a movie you hate | 6 |
| You take her to a movie you like | -2 |
| It's called DeathCop 3 | -3 |
| Which features cyborgs having sex | -9 |
| You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans | -15 |
| Your Physique: | |
| You develop a noticeable potbelly | -15 |
| You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it | 10 |
| You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and | |
| baggy Hawaiian shirts | -30 |
| You say "I don't give a darn because you have one too" | -800 |
| The Big Question: | |
| She asks, "Do I look fat?" | -5 |
| You hesitate in responding | -10 |
| You reply, "Where?" | -35 |
| Communication: | |
| When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression | 0 |
| When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes | 5 |
| You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV | 10 |
| She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep | -20 |
Check out Mike's rebuttal to this point system in his "38 REASONS WHY IT'S GOOD TO BE A GUY"